December News From the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club

Dear Cheese Lovers of Azeroth,

Our world has seen a lot of changes lately.

Some of them have been wonderful changes. It’s good to see the Crusaders back in the Plagulands… and the Plaguelands not quite as plagued as they have been in the past. It’s good to see those members of both the Horde and the Alliance nations who can move beyond hate for the sake of hating patrolling the Plaguelands together. Not so much of the humans standing to one side and the orcs standing to the other and everybody saying this is a united front while the dwarves just keep drinking. Not that there’s anything wrong with drinking. Drink together, though, for Light’s sake!

Some of these changes… well, I could bloody well do without them. I suppose there are things you find yourself feeling the same way about. We all miss King Magni, and there’ve been rumors that the Horde has lost one of their own leaders. (I hope it was that stupid orc who followed Warchief Thrall around and tried to start fights with everybody.) And I’d just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that the city is still called Ironforge. If I hear some bloody git calling it Darkironforge, there will be bloodshed.

There’s one thing you can count on in these times not to change, though. Something each of us can put our faith in, find comfort in, and share with our kin. No, I’m not talking about the Light.

Alright… that’s two things, then.

Cheese! You can still find cheese almost anywhere except the Stonefire Tavern, and I’ll be making a complaint about that because I’m bloody well tired of running down to the Gol’Bolar Quarry and dodging troggs just to get some cheese that should be available right there in Ironforge! And it’s not getting any better with the trolls moving in. All I wanted was a block of Dwarven Mild, but Sergeant Flinthammer flagged me down and had me chasing after stolen rams! Sell the bloody cheese in Ironforge, you bloody gits! This kind of thing is what forces me to spend my gold in Stormwind!

You might be asking yourself what kind of cheese you should spend your gold on when you’re out shopping somewhere other than Ironforge. Of course, you can never go wrong with Dwarven Mild. But I’d like to take a moment to suggest you give something new a try, as well. Have you ever had Smoked String Cheese? It’s easy enough to carry in your travel bags. It’s convenient for sharing with someone else. To tell you the truth, it’s just a lot of fun to eat!

Go by Mr. Trias’ shop and ask for Smoked String Cheese… it’s worth making the trip to Stormwind! If you find you’d be more welcome in Orgrimmar than Stormwind, I suppose someone there might be selling it, as well. Probably a Tauren. Those are fine people who know how to appreciate cheese.

In spite of the bloody chaos going on all around us, the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club remains dedicated to bringing you the latest news about cheese every month. More importantly, spreading the joy of cheese throughout all of Azeroth is our highest priority. Cheese is for everyone! Dwarf, human, orc, gnome, goblin, furbolg, draenei, murloc, troll, all eleventeen species of elf, and even the undead. You wouldn’t think so, what with the not needing to eat, but I’ve shared cheese with Knights of Acherus before. I suppose that means even the Forsaken ones might be able to appreciate some good cheese.

I haven’t worked up the nerve to talk to a Gilnean about cheese yet. I’ll be putting that on the monthly projects list.

Share some cheese with a friend today. Better yet, share some cheese with a stranger. Help us spread the joy! Go on down and get yourself some Smoked String Cheese.

Just don’t try to buy it at the Stonefire Tavern.

– Fizzy Stouthammer, spokesdwarf for the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club

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~ by Fizzy Stouthammer on 11/30/2010.

3 Responses to “December News From the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club”

  1. I apologize for Flinthammer. He’s like that.

  2. [scribbled in an increasingly familiar-looking hand] Garrosh Hellscream. And no, he wasn’t the lost leader. He’s Thrall’s replacement.

    Light help us all.

    -L.C.

  3. Mountaineer Flinthammer, I thought it would all be sorted quickly, since I assumed it was yourself I was going to be helping when they said “Check with Flinthammer”. I mean no disrespect to any of your kin… Mangorn Flinthammer has the finest wares in the land! But Sergeant Flinthammer couldn’t spot a troll stealing a ram if they were doing so right bloody next to him. I wish I were exaggerating.

    L.C., isn’t he the one who tried to take a swing at Varian Wrynn in Dalaran once? Nothing to worry about. The way I heard it, Lady Proudmoore and Archmage Rhonin had to break up the fight because Brann Bronzebeard himself was about to knock the orc back to Orgrimmar.

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