Report #00030: Titan Relics Are NOT Gnomish Doohickeys

I’ve been going about trying to get things settled properly while my Composition Ultimate Tool for Engineer Reports (CompUTER) is being repaired. Making arrangements for distributing copies of the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club’s November announcement, practicing not dropping a hammer I’ll likely never be swinging in battle anyhow on my own foot, checking with the repair gnome about the progress on my CompUTER… the daily things that must be tended to. And it  was in the course of these daily chores that I found myself walking past Stormwind Keep on my way from Mr. Trias’ shop back to the Deeprun Tram when I realized there was a bloody lot of folks inside. One of the guards’ll let just about anyone who gives him some decent ale in, so I bought myself a ticket to stand in the back and not make any noise.

I was right when I said the land itself isn’t getting on so well! I’ve been right for months, but all the usual folks brushed myself off and swore it was nothing to worry over, if it was anything other than my own imagination at all. And that is exactly why it’s worthless to take your concerns over anything important to elves! Light love them, but Azeroth would be better off if some of that ear length could be re-shaped into extra brain power.

I can’t say how long Varian Wrynn means to be entertaining guests, but it seems like some sort of summit that could take them a while to work everything out. If you find yourself with a bit of spare time, or you’re going over to Mr. Trias’ shop, see if you can get in and have a listen. King Magni himself was speaking about things when I went in there, and I saw High Tinker Mekkatorque, Lady Proudmoore, and even Prophet Velen of the draenei there. I believe the pretty elf was their High Priestess, but elves in mooncloth robes all look a bit similar to myself. Tall, long ears, glowing with the light of Elune.

It’s some of what I heard King Magni say that concerns myself, and you can be sure I’ll be sending a letter to him about it.  It got difficult to listen, what with himself and the High Tinker talking at the same time and Lady Proudmoore asking quesions, but I’m certain he said something about Brann Bronzebeard himself sending some tablets from Ulduar to Ironforge. It sounds like King Magni is thinking these tablets might have something to them that could help with understanding what’s happening, or maybe even putting a stop to the earthquakes.

I trust King Magni Bronzebeard. I don’t suppose I’ve ever felt like the title of “King” really says what he means to the people of Ironforge. He’s the High Thane. It seems like the term has fallen out of use, but the way Greta explained it to myself was that there are different degrees of “Thane”. She said they used to call her own father that in the northeastern parts of Dun Morogh to show respect for him as an elder of the community, and not just in the sense of himself having lived so many years. And she said each of the smaller clans that joined with the Bronzebeards to make up the massive Bronzebeard Clan was led by a Thane of their own. But the High Thane… he’s the one the other Thanes seek out of his wisdom and leadership. He’s the one they defer to when everybody’s got their own way of thinking things should be done. The High Thane is a King among kings.

I trust High Thane Magni Bronzebeard with my own life, and I would give my own life for his with no regrets.

As for Brann Bronzebeard himself… What words could I possibly write about him that would be worthy? He’s Brann Bronzebeard! It was pouring over the maps and journals in the Hall of Explorers that he’d sent back that finally got me to shake off the helplessness I’d been feeling and stop hiding myself in the mountain! It was his writing that made myself want to learn about every culture on Azeroth, see Mulgore with my own eyes, learn to speak Orcish! It was reading what he wrote about the on-going battles in Alterac Valley that reassured myself that I was not betraying Ironforge just by being willing to seek peace with the Horde. Everything I’ve made of myself since Greta died has been possible because Brann Bronzebeard himself has been an inspiration! One of the greatest moments in my eighty-four years in this world was getting the chance to help him in Northrend and introducing him to Brann Bronzebear, and being able to tell little Brann, “This is who I named you after, cub. Someday, yourself and myself will have gone everywhere he’s gone.”

There’s not another soul on the face of Azeroth I’d be so willing to follow on nothing more than a promise of adventure than Brann Bronzebeard himself!

That being said… TITAN RELICS? I don’t trust Titan relics. Sure, it worked out just fine for myself in the end, getting that close to Ulduar.  Not that anyone’s ever been able to say for certain exactly what happened, but I don’t think there’s any bloody coincidence in someone of partially dwarven ancestry spending that much time practically sitting on the Titans’ front porch and then going through some bloody painful metamorphosis into a regular dwarf!

I’m not exaggerating if I say that “bloody painful” is an understatement. I remember the fever. I remember feeling like I was itching everywhere, inside and out, and that my bones were trying to break into splinters under my skin. I remember feeling like everything from my stomache to my eyeballs was trying to turn inside out. I remember waking up and not being entirely sure of where I was or who I was, but being entirely sure that I needed to get myself to the one bunch of Earthen I’d spent any amount of time with.

I remember being so driven by that thought that I packed up in the middle of the night and flew off without telling my own brother I was going. I may never know if I crashed that gyrocopter because I was too ill to fly properly, or if I was still in the air when the change kicked into high gear. Or if I just got blinded by a blizzard. That’s always been a possibility, as well.

I suppose it’s safe to say Brann Bronzebeard himself and King Magni himself aren’t running any risks of ended up transformed into dwarves. And I’m not trying to say it’s been a terrible thing. If mages knew how to turn folks into dwarves instead of sheep, I’d have had something done about it well before I ever first set foot in Northrend. Someone asked my brother once if this meant I’m a gnome trapped in a dwarf’s body, and my brother said it was more a matter of myself having been born a dwarf trapped in a gnome’s body… but it’s all been set right now.

My brother is not always a bloody git.

My concern here is that Ulduar still holds mysteries we haven’t even begun to understand. Things we don’t even know about, so we can’t devote ourselves to understanding them yet! I’ve spent my fair share of time down in Tanaris doing what I can to assist the Keepers of Time. I’ve been known to seek out a moment to chat with Chromie whenever …

I’ve had a talk with Chromie now and again about…

There’s no way to write that so that I don’t make myself giggle! Ignoring any accidental chronological wordplay, I enjoy speaking with Chromie as circumstances permit. And I was honored to be able to give even a small bit of assistance at Wyrmrest Temple. But I’ve come to suspect the Titans themselves may not be much different than the dragons in some ways. Maybe what they planned for the good of Azeroth isn’t always comfortable for those of us living here. I haven’t got any doubts about the Titans having the best of intentions for things on a large scale, but we had a saying about that in the Quantum Understanding And Replication Kraftshoppe back in Gnomeregan.

“The hallway leading directly to the Medical Unit was built with nothing more to support the architecture than ‘good intentions’.”

I suppose that’s one of those sayings that doesn’t translate well outside of Gnomeregan.

I like to think we all learned a bit of something from what happened after that group of folks faced Algalon. The Titans have a good plan, but it’s possible they didn’t figure a few things into the equations. I like to think that signal reached them and we’ve got more time, as well. Time that we maybe ought to be spending on figuring out what it is we say or do if the day comes that we have to explain the missing bits to them. But anything found in Ulduar was left there when the world was a different place. Dwarves were still Earthen, and humans were bloody giants instead of just being a wee bit too tall for anybody’s good! There’s good reasons to be concerned.

Or maybe I’m worrying myself over nothing. It’s possible the worst thing that could happen as a side effect of handling artifacts from Ulduar is you wake up a dwarf one day. It’s not a bad thing, and King Magni is already one of the greatest dwarves to ever come from Ironforge Mountain.



~ by Fizzy Stouthammer on 10/27/2010.

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