August Announcement from the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club

August has arrived and all of Azeroth appears to be aflame! It’s just that bloody hot. Except in Northrend, I suppose, and Dun Morogh tends to stay comfortable year round. That hasn’t got much of a ring to it, though. If you’re finding yourself in one of the hotter regions, however, or just needing something to tide yourself over between fending off giant spiders and running errands for some bloody git in Southshore who, quite frankly, hasn’t got broken legs himself then the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club has fine cheese to suggest!

Before announcing the Cheese of the Month, we’d like to take a moment to spotlight one of the finest men of Azeroth. A man who has devoted himself to cheese. A man who is, in fact, known as the Master of Cheese! This month, the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club recognizes Mr. Elling Trias of Stormwind.

I first met Mr. Trias when I was a small, misguided mage traveling outside of Ironforge for the first time since the fall of Gnomeregan. My brother, who belives in teaching a soul how to find their way around a big city by running ahead and leaving them to wander, had taken off to some-bloody-where in Stormwind and I was in need of material components for one bloody spell or another. I only got lost six or seven times before wondering into a shop in the Trade District that sold exactly what I was needing. I stepped out to ask the man standing on the crate outside what he was going on about with the free sample of wine, but then the shop across the street caught my eye…  TRIAS CHEESE!

From that day on, everytime I got turned around and lost my way in Stormwind I always seemed to end up at Trias Cheese. I even started being able to avoid getting lost in the first place by just setting out from there to wherever I was headed. Mr. Trias himself, Missus Trias, and Ben Trias have all been very kind to myself and the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club supports them by encouraging folks to buy fine cheese from them.

I suppose you’ve heard some rumors about Mr. Trias. I figure a person’s past belongs to themself in a lot of ways. It’s who and what they are in the present that matters now. If Lady Proudmoore has it in herself to see the Lich King for the crazed, pompous, corrupt, far-too-powerful threat to everyone he turned out to be instead of just the half-mad, pompous, possibly corrupt, bloody git human he used to be, then I suppose we can all just look at Mr. Trias and see nothing more or less than the Master of Cheese.

Besides, Mr. Shaw told me it might be best that way. And if anyone finds themself going by Deathknell for some Light-forsaken reason, I wouldn’t advise trying to ask David Trias any questions about it, either.

Why bother with saying so much about Elling Trias? Because it’s time for this month’s Cheese of the Month announcement…

In honor of Mr. Elling Trias, Master of Cheese, because the poor man does live in Stormwind, Light bless him… the August Cheese of the Month is STORMWIND BRIE!

Don’t get too excited. I’m not. Aye, it’s pretty much the Scourge of cheese. If cheese could be undead you can bet good gold it’d turn into Stormwind Brie. But Mr. Trias has done a bloody lot for us cheese lovers, and it won’t be killing us to go in and buy a bit and then… I don’t know. Throw it at those little imps the bloody warlocks are always carting around with themselves. Throw it at the warlocks. Use it for fishing bait.

I hope everyone’s been stockpiling enough Dwarven Mild to get through to September. Or you could always buy some Stormwind Brie and some Dwarven Mild, I suppose.

As always, the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club remains committed to spreading the joy of cheese to all people of Azeroth (even the ones in Stormwind) through several cheese-oriented endeavors. One is the monthly announcement of the Cheese of the Month. Usually not Stormwind Brie, but always announced monthly. Another is the “Cheese for the Cheeseless” campaign. When you find someone grieving over the death and subsequent undead ressurection of a loved one, or being just a wee bit too hard on themself for being fool enough to get tricked by a satyr, ask them if they have any cheese. If they don’t, share some to cheer them up!

And, of course, the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club would like to remind everyone that if your favorite neighborhood tavern doesn’t sell the fine cheeses you’re looking for, like Dwarven Mild, take your gold to Trias Cheese in Stormwind or One More Glass in Dalaran.

— Fizzy Stouthammer, spokesdwarf for the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club

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~ by Fizzy Stouthammer on 08/01/2010.

One Response to “August Announcement from the Khaz Modan Cheese of the Month Club”

  1. Hm. I’m rather fond of Elling Trias myself, because he’s a find upstanding citizen who understands the importance of good cheese, but I never could find it in me to try the Brie. (Not if I could help it – there have been a few desperate occasions out in the forest when I’ve been in dire need of nourishment and there it was…)

    I’ll have to stop in and try a bit. Even if I have to chase it with some wine.

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