Report #00016: Personal Celebration – Firearms and Fromage

Yesterday was my eighty-fourth birthday… and my very first birthday party! Normally, I would have a few things to say about the fact that there were more elves than dwarves present for the celebration, but this time I am still filled with amazement that those dearest to me would make such an effort to celebrate something as simple as my continued existence.

I do have one complaint about the whole thing. I’m not sure who thought housecats were a good idea, but the things are bloody useless! Oshosi is a fine beast, but he does things at his own whim when we aren’t focused on a task, and I’m sure Burningbeard would have a few critical things to say about myself because of that. I left him to watch the door while I looked through some old engineering manuals and waited for my guests to arrive for the party. I don’t advise making a cat your doorman. I looked up from the manuals to find my brother standing next to me, and there was Oshosi still in front of the door… licking his paws, or some bloody thing. He let Yablo walk right in, too. This beast has protected me from asassins, trolls, basillisks, satyrs, giants… but he can’t keep a few guests waiting at the door an extra few seconds so I can put things back on a bookshelf? Housecats are lazy, I tell you!

Guests started arriving faster once Friginne and Yablo were there. I don’t blame them. Given the chance to be in the same room with Yablo Truewhisper and Crusader Friginne Stouthammer, I suppose I would be in a rush to get there myself. It fills me with pride to know that two of the greatest heroes in the war against the Scourge are also two of my closest loved ones, and not to self-important to spend a few hours sitting in Ironforge eating cake with me.

Vadrasi, a draenei mage, brought her beautiful baby girl Luminita with her to the party. I was so glad to see the baby again! The last time I saw her, she was only about ten minutes old. I had the honor of helping bring Luminita into Azeroth, and her father Amboro… one of the greatest paladins I have ever known… even spoke of her birth in Ironforge as her being born “at the heart of the world”. They were only able to stay briefly, but I was so happy to have them there! I do hope the little bundle of Light grows out of the habit of pulling my earrings soon, though.

Mira Windsong arrived with her beautiful baby girl, who I suspect will grow up to be a druid like both of her parents, and her son Jonas. Jonas is a human child Mira and her husband Ainatar adopted, but don’t let that fool you. He has a sharp mind, an insatiable curiosity, and I’m fairly certain he’ll be a better engineer someday than Gnomeregan could ever hope to produce. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jonas went down in history as the first human ever elected by gnomes to serve as High Tinker.

Another druid I met recently who goes by the name of Mooncalled came to the party, and her arrival was soon followed by the arrival of yet another druid… Caminus Mooncalled. I suspect the two of them are related to each other and just don’t know it yet. I should make a point of getting them together soon to go over their bloodlines.

Jonas handed me a wrapped package that felt a bit familiar when I turned it over. I couldn’t figure out what it was, though, until I unwrapped it. It just about brought a tear to my eye to see that the little engineer had handed me a fine firearm! The gun is more like a hand cannon, and Jonas said it’s rumored to sometimes shoot fireballs! It’s a little more firepower than I can handle right now, but I’m going to work my way up to it and I’ve promised Jonas that I’ll ask Mira to let him go with me to try it out when the time comes.

My brother was also thinking of my shooting, but with his own mindset of finding weapons that can be used immediately. So until I can handle the fireball-spitting hand cannon, I also have a precisely calibrated gun that is an amazing improvement over the one I was using! I made a trip out to the Un Goro Crater after the party, and I’m fairly sure the raptors there were happy when I headed back to Ironforge.

Moon had arrived with some sort of platter that turned out to be loaded with cupcakes, and Caminus showed up with skins of Dwarven Stout and mugs of ale. Light bless her, the elf brought dwarven brew, even if it wasn’t the hard stuff! My brother provided the birthday cake, and he assures me he didn’t bake any rat bits into it. He and Moon each baked small cakes just for me… delicious, chocolate ones!

And there we all sat, enjoying each others company, the food, the firearms… what could possibly make the first time I’d ever celebrated my birthday any more special? Well, if it seems I’ve started to go soft on elves lately, I suppose that’s Yablo’s fault. He’s a fine example of what any man should be, not just an elf. It’s not just that he’s a fine warrior (which he is), but also things like what he did for my birthday. There’s this little white bear that follows him around, about my little Brann’s age and size, and he’s named her Blizzytwizzle. (I suppose that’s what I get for having once named a bear Yablo.) He brought in two large sacks, and needed little Blizzy to help him by carrying a third, smaller sack. I just looked at it all for a minute. Whatever my birthday present from him was, it took one of the Alliance’s greatest warriors and a bear to carry it into Ironforge.

Then I opened a sack… and passed out from the sheer overwhelming joy!


Not just “cheese”, mind you. I’m not talking about a few bits of Stormwind Brie. In fact, thank the Light, there was no Stormwind Brie to be found in those bags. There were huge stacks of Darnassian Bleu, Dalaran Sharp, Dwarven Mild, Fine Aged Cheddar, Alterac Swiss, Garadar Sharp, Mag’har Mild, Sour Goat Cheese, Briny Hardcheese, Dalaran Swiss, Aged Dalaran Sharp, Salted Yeti Cheese… he even found a Holiday Cheesewheel somewhere!

I think I may have more cheese than Elling Trias!

As many times as I’ve had to tell folks what happened in Gnomeregan, and as difficult as it’s been every time, I always know I can tell the tale because I know it ends with cheese. I know I can tell the dark parts, the terrifying parts, and even the parts I still feel guilty about because I’m going to get to the part where the dwarf with the golden hair pulled me out. I know I’ll feel the comfort of it all over again when I tell people how she promised me I would be alright, and how she gave me my first piece of Dwarven Mild. But I never could have known that one day I would have a home in Ironforge, and be surrounded by those who love me, and that someone so dear to me would bring me sacks full of so much cheese.

I never could have known the Light blesses folks this way.

If anyone ever asks if Yablo Truewhisper is a good elf, I will stand up to them and say that Yablo Truewhisper is such a fine man he’s practically a tall, purple dwarf.

Before the party was over, Mira kept a promise to me she’d made months ago, and that I really hadn’t expected her to remember. I suppose once an elf has lived a few thousand years, though, remembering a promise they made a few months ago isn’t such a problem. She had promised to bring fire juggling torches and juggle them for me on my birthday. So we all poured out into the open area and she did so, and that was exciting to see! Then she let me try it, but I have no idea how those scorch marks ended up on the stone in the hallway. And if any of the Ironforge guards ask, I would appreciate it if no one else had any idea, either.

My brother decided it was time for him to head back to Northrend. “Scourge donnae kill themselves,” he said. Of course, my brother being a dwarf, he felt the need to add, “Abominations do explode sometimes, though.”

After everyone was gone, I went to find out about some high security storage for the cheese before I went to try out the new gun.

I wished for a birthday that was like Brewfest and Winter Veil with a bit of Darkmoon Faire. What I got was very much like that, and also so much better. I don’t entirely understand why my birthday is special enough to bring heroes home, to get elves who usually find Ironforge unpleasant to travel there, and to get folks who normally shun social situations to sit around and laugh while eating cake. I don’t know why it makes it worth the trip for women who are carrying tiny babies around with them.  I don’t know why someone would give me all that cheese just to see it make me happy!

What I do know is that I, Fizzy Stouthammer, am currently the happiest dwarf in Khaz Modan!

~ by Fizzy Stouthammer on 05/24/2010.

One Response to “Report #00016: Personal Celebration – Firearms and Fromage”

  1. Guns, cheese and beer — hard to beat that!

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