Report #00002: Investigative Research Methods and the Categorization of Dwarves

When I submitted the report on the research into my bloodline to King Magni it was met with a slight chuckle. Really, King Magni is a good-natured dwarf (as most dwarves are) and says little unless he has something important to say (as most dwarves do, unless drinking… which they often are). My daily appeals to him continued for some time, and the High Seat was the staging area for a frequent procedure.

Step 1: Bow before King Magni.

Step 2: Remind King Magni that I would like to be recognized as a valued citizen of Ironforge, and allowed to ride a ram.

Step 3: Try not to get upset when King Magni laughs.

Step 4: Bow before King Magni and leave before the tears start falling.

I sometimes introduced new stimuli into the process. My brother went with me once to tell King Magni how his mother had adopted me, and how I am, as far as she was and he is concerned, truly a Stouthammer. King Magni smiled and gave my brother a brief nod, but nothing more. At least he did not laugh that day.

Eventually, mostly through the work the Explorer’s League sent me to do in Uldaman, I managed to prove myself and recieved a summons to appear before King Magni. He gave me a letter to present at Amberstill Ranch and explained why he had waited so long before allowing me a ram. It is no trouble at all to record his words in this report, as I doubt they could ever be purged from my memory or fade in my heart.

“I was never in doubt about your claims of dwarven heritage, nor would I argue with the word of one such as Greta Stouthammer. Being a dwarf is not simply about riding a ram, or even calling Ironforge home, though. You have been a dwarf since the first time you came before me and said it was in your heart to be a dwarf. I simply gave you more time to learn what that means. Give that letter to Veron Amberstill and he will make sure you get the biggest ram he has, for while your mind may be gnomish, you have the heart of ten dwarves  and it will take a large ram to carry you!”

He’s a fine ram, too! Copper has carried me across almost any kind of terrain you can imagine, and into places I couldn’t have gone without his loyalty and strength. And he always manages to carry me home again. He even carried me to Aerie Peak, where there were more answers about my past waiting. Not that getting answers from Aerie dwarves is easy. Building an airship with multiple weapons systems, reverse-advancement thrusters, and a fully fuctional kitchen, laboratory, and toy store is easy. Getting Wildhammers to chit-chat takes work. I hadn’t expected that, as the only Wildhammer I’ve ever known before is more like an Ironforge dwarf when it comes to being social.

It wasn’t until I’d spent some time working with Agnar Beastamer in an effort to save a hatchling that any of them really started to warm up to me. And the only one who did was Agnar. I was lucky that the anonymous note that ended up in my mailbox one day led me to him.

All the note said was, “Been hearin of the gnome who might be a dwarf. Got information that may be of use. Meet me in Winterspring, just past Timbermaw Hold. Watch yer back!”

I was met by a dwarf who never gave me his name, but told me that he once knew a dwarf who had a rather intimate relationship with a gnomish woman during and following the building of Gnomeregan. On a personal note, I thought all ten of my dwarven hearts would pound right out of my chest! There was no doubt in my mind that he was talking about Sparki Wizzgadget! He then told me that he didn’t have all the details of the story, handed me a steel ring, and said that I should go to Aerie Peak and give the ring to Agnar Beastamer and tell him that I wanted to hear about “Thunderbeard’s gnome”.

(Side Note: To gain safe passage through Timbermaw Hold, I did have to prove myself to the Timbermaw furbolgs. This was rather exciting, and I look forward to continuing to forge a friendship with them.)

Agnar Beastamer didn’t look happy about telling me what he knew, but shared a couple of pints with me and told the story anyway. He starting by explaining something I already knew, but hadn’t considered before in trying to research this subject: the dwarves and gnomes became allies and started construction of Gnomeregan not too long before the War of the Three Hammers. From what Agnar told me, it was Sparki Wizzgadget who became involved with a dwarf, one named Thunderbeard. And Thunderbeard was the father of Tesla Springcoil. Mr. Rumrifle’s theory was true, and our research had been yielding valid results!

Sparki had been unwilling to leave Gnomeregan, no matter how out-of-place she felt, because of her work. Quantum Mechanical Engineering was something she was just beginning to develop and she needed access to Gnomeregan’s labs, documentation systems, and machinery.  It wasn’t the fact that she was a gnome and Thunderbeard was a dwarf that caused them to be seperated for long periods of time and made each of them heartbroken when not with the other… it was the splitting of the dwarven clans.

That was either all Agnar would say, or all he had to say.  I’m not sure why the dwarf in Winterspring couldn’t tell such simple facts, and suspect he may have simply been unwilling to for some reason of his own. I asked Agnar what became of Thunderbeard, and his answer was simply, “Couldn’t say for certain.” Whatever became of him, I hold no hopes of finding him someday. Greta was a young girl when the War of the Three Hammers happened, and Friginne and I lost her to the unbeatable opponent “Old Age” last year. She’d lived to be rather elderly and wise for a dwarf, and Thunderbeard would have been much older.

This also makes me fairly certain that Tesla and Flaskburn were my grandparents. Given the chronological frame of events, I simply do not see how they could fit any further back in my bloodline. That would mean that my great-grandsire was a Wildhammer dwarf. This would explain why I’m a bit taller than most gnomes, and considerably heavier than I look. It explains many things about me, really. It does make me curious, though… Why Ironforge? Why am I so sure that Ironforge is my home and that King Magni is my king? Is it because, growing up in Gnomeregan, I have always been part of Ironforge Mountain? Or have I somehow completed some sort of genetic circuit, bringing my dwarven ancestors back to where they started?

I doubt those answers can be discovered through research and interviews. Those may be the kind of answers Historian Karnik tells me are the most frustrating because you can’t dig up any relic that will tell you; you can only keep asking until you know.

~ by Fizzy Stouthammer on 12/31/2009.

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