Introduction: Why the fel is this being documented?
To whomever it may concern (or whichever historian wants to remove these reports from the library):
I, Fizzytwizzle Stouthammer — formerly Fizzytwizzle Runesprocket, born Fizzytwizzle Techplugg — am unofficially filing these reports by leaving them in the library within the Ironforge Hall of Explorers for a reason… and no, that reason is not because Stormwind’s library turned me away! I believe my unique view of the world can be of interest and educational value to others, and that I owe it to my home and kinsmen to make this information available to any in Ironforge who would seek it.
Besides, I asked King Magni if I could, and he wasn’t opposed to the idea. Or he was afraid denying me permission would just lead to daily petitions from me. I still think he gave me a ram just to be rid of me for a while.
What you will find in these reports are the writings of me, Fizzy Stouthammer! A gnome of part-dwarven ancestry, I am still searching for what it means to be “me”. I’ve learned along the way that it may be the most common thing anyone searches for, be they gnome, dwarf, human, any flavor of elf, or even orc or tauren. I’ve been both a technophobic gnome and a proud dwarf exploring the history of her people. I’ve fought off invading troggs in Gnomeregan. I’ve soared over mountains on the back of a gryphon and felt the cry of “FOR KHAZ MODAN!” burst from inside of me.
I’ve also filed a complaint with the Stormwind Shopkeepers Society because I’m tired of having to travel all the way to Aerie Peak to buy some decent cheese. I don’t know what’s wrong with Mr. Trias, but he just isn’t stocking anything worth eating these days!
In short, historians, please remove these reports from the library if you feel they can be replaced by the writings of someone who can give a more accurate account of events from my point of view. Otherwise, please make these reports available to library visitors who wish to read them. And visitors, please implore the historians to add more autobiographical accounts to the library. They wouldn’t have to spend so much time searching for clues in the future if they’d simply archive the information when it’s given to them now.
Light and cheese!
– Fizzy Stouthammer